India Bound!!

817 Days! 2 years and 2 1/2 months and we will finally have our daughter in our arms!!

 

 

We leave Thursday, February 1. The boys (and the puppy) will be with grandparents. Mary-Lynn's Gotcha Day will be February 4! That is my great-granddaddy, Granddaddy Pete's, birthday. Makes it even more special!

 

Granny and Granddaddy Pete, my great-grandparents, I was blessed to know into adulthood.

We can not begin to tell you how thankful we are for all of you who gave, bought, followed, and prayed for our adoption!! My prayer is that you were drawn closer to Christ by following our journey and that many of you will chose to adopt yourselves! There are so many waiting children all over the world.
 


We have done a lot of research, spoken with lots of other adoptive families, and to our adoption agency about what I am posting below. Of course, it will be something constantly bathed in prayer...

Our sweet girl has not had the kind of life a 3 year old little girl deserves. She is an orphan. The only home she has ever known is an orphanage. She doesn't know what it means to have a mommy and daddy. She doesn't know what it means to live in a home where she will always have food, always have clothes on her back, toys in her toy chest, and a safe place to land. She doesn't know what it is to have unconditional, lasting love. Life in an orphanage - even the best of orphanages - is sad and hard and competitive and too often characterized by lack and loneliness. From a very early age, children in orphanages learn not to cry because no one will care, and no one is coming for them. As they grow they learn that the best way to earn extra treats and get their hands on the shiniest new toys is to be cute and charming and give affection to every adult that walks in the room. This is not only dangerous, it's unhealthy and fosters attachment disorders.


We need to put Mary-Lynn first and begin the process of showing her what a family means. Her entire world will change. She will leave the only home she’s known, with people who look and sound very different. Then will be shuttled to multiple appointments. Live in a hotel room. Take 3-4 flights and some will be 8+ hours. That’s BIG. So when we get home we need small. This will mean generally hunkering down at home. We are strangers and we need her to know we are mommy and daddy. In the orphanage mommy might mean multiple caretakers. And daddy is usually non-existent. We need her to bond with us. Bonding and attachment can be HUGE problems for children that have been institutionalized. That means “all good things” MUST come from mommy and daddy – food, toys, anything good needs to flow through us to her. Part of healthy attachment building is learning when and where it’s appropriate to give and seek affection. When you meet her…wave, give high fives, blow kisses, make funny faces; but refrain from hugging, kissing, and/or picking her up for now. This is VERY important. Many children will show signs of indiscriminate affection as a product of living in an orphanage. They reach for anyone. Call everyone mommy. Hoping any adult might meet their needs. Indiscriminate affection may seem cute as a baby, but can lead to major safety issues in the future. Most adoption experts recommend one month of cocooning  (what is being described above) for every year your child has been in an orphanage, but we are not putting a timeline on it. We will do this for as long as it takes to create that bond. And there may be times down the road that we need to recreate that cocoon if we feel it’s necessary.

We know that she is adorable and huggable and this will seem torturous. But this is for her future health and well-being and we know that all of you want the best for her and our family. Please know that we love and appreciate what all of you have done to help us through the adoption process. We couldn’t have done it without y’all! So we ask that you give us grace in the first months home, and help us in teaching our daughter what the love of a family means. I will be posting LOTS of pictures and videos for all of you to enjoy ; ) Please pray for a smooth and quick attachment, pray as she grieves the loss of her caregivers and only home she has ever known, pray for her to adjust to American time, pray for her to feel safe and comfortable in her new home and with her new family! And please do not hesitate to ask us questions about what I posted above. I never thought about or understood this until we started our adoption process.

We will be flying into the Montgomery airport for anyone that wants to come and greet us and see Mary-Lynn in person! We just ask you let the boys come to us first. We are not sure the exact date that we will return, but I will post it on Facebook as soon as we do. We are hoping for Feb. 10 if all the appointments go quickly and smoothly.

Also if you are on Facebook and not in our secret adoption group and want to be just let me know and I will add you. This is where I will post while we are in India! : )

Thank you again for following our journey and please continue to pray as we travel and begin bonding with our daughter!